Lincoln Park

RedEye 'Hoods

Lincoln Park

Tips for ugly sweater season

Tips for ugly sweater season

Seriously ugly. (Photo: Natalie Cammarata)

Tell me this isn’t the ugliest thing you’ve ever seen.

There were some pretty impressively disgusting sweaters at Mad River last Thursday, but I think the one with the hot pink trim takes the cake. Ugly sweater goers were donning their awesomely bad ensembles for more than just pure entertainment. The all-you-can-drink event’s proceeds went to UCAN, an amazing Chicago organization that helps strengthen our city’s youth with programs and services that help educate, prevent violence, and heal trauma.

The top 10 finalists—including yours truly—inspired me to spruce up my sweater for the rest of the season’s parties. We can’t just get away with the sweater alone anymore, people! Here are a few tips you can use to make your sweater the ugliest of them all…and probably scare small children while you’re at it.

Add a bow tie. Very nerd chic.

Wear your ugly sweater over an ugly sweater vest. Double the ugly.

Make sure there is some kind of turtleneck involved. Preferably mock, with penguins or plaid.

Add fur. Instant glam.

Make it 3D. There should be something, if not several things, hanging off of you. Think Phoebe’s Gladys masterpiece from Friends.

Add a headpiece. Feathers, Santa hat, mistletoe, etc.

Light it up. I haven’t figured out how to add Christmas lights to my sweater without catching on fire, but I’m sure you’re up for the challenge.

This is a RedEye community blog. The views and opinions expressed in this post are solely those of the author and not those of RedEye or Tribune Company.

What do YOU think?

We're always on the lookout for more local news freelancers and opinion writers. Interested? Great! E-mail us at

Working for tips! Send us one