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Bipolar on Broadway

Bipolar on Broadway

The Closet DJ must shop next door at Borderline Music.

Broadway is a bit schizophrenic. I’m not just talking about when I leave LVAC off my medication.  Take for example the corner of Buckingham and Broadway, between the gawking one-size fits all underwear on the sidewalk at Cram, the glorified temple shrine to Madonna, Borderline Music and the tragic Mr. Taco with its 1982 garage sale patio furniture and Taco Bell aspiring colors-menu. Broadway, in general, really brings it with its great multiple personalities. Two bars that seem to be suffering from such a severe case of Carrie Fisher -esque bipolar disorder have quickly become my favorite places to grab drinks on an off night or “enjoy” a late night bender. So strap yourself into your strait jackets.


By day, Wang’s is “just” the bar attached to Wakamono, a cute little place to drink on an empty stomach before eating overpriced sushi but as the night creeps in it becomes much, much more. For those not in the know, Wang’s derives its name from its proliferation of pornographic décor hidden in the bathrooms. Behind its ornately carved wooden pillars and the smoke of the endless fog machine, you’ll also find phone numbers from the ghosts of daddies and twinkies past scrawled all over the bathroom wall. No, this isn’t just my apartment bathroom although both are cash only.  Among the multitude of martinis, a lascivious lychee, among the standard swill terminal tequila sidecars your ironic Tecate tipple. Unescorted females are barred past 11 and after two, the real party begins, nudity required. You have to lose your top, your pants or both. Either way I’m game.  After-hour underwear party spells G-I-N and R-E-G-R-E-T.

The Closet

In the light, this bar is technically “just” the last lesbian bastion left in Lakeview.  In the earlier hours I’ve never walked past without seeing her a little sad and alone like the shy girl at the Northbrook High School rager except for in this case she’s in board shorts and flannel.  Come after 2 AM and after she’s good and sauced, she’s blown the entire football team, gotten a sex change and gone full blown gay.  Think about it. If you want to get a crotch grab in the restroom from a stranger or get yelled at while you pass out over-served at the bar then this is your late night establishment! There’s no dance floor but you can make one in the process of spilling everyone’s drinks and bumping into that guy you shouldn’t have gone home with.  The drinks taste like kerosene (or maybe I no longer have any feeling in my face at this point) but it’s equal parts tragic and amazing kind of like my boudoir. Shazam.  Besides any late night bar that plays all my favorite Disney starlets from Selena Gomez to Miley has got my patronage.

What are your favorite after hours corners in B-town to solicit?

This is a RedEye community blog. The views and opinions expressed in this post are solely those of the author and not those of RedEye or Tribune Company.

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